If I were to go to Andover (assuming that by the time I apply I would have decent grades) I would probably be the only Californian hippie-ish person there, among a bunch of conservative east coast people who care about their academics.  That would suck.  And with my grade patterns, why the hell would I even be accepted to Andover?  I’m a slacker.  That is the truth.  And slackers from middle-class families aren’t often shipped out to the opposite coast to an expensive, highly academic, conformist old school that only educates the best anyway.  But it’s fun to dream about living off on my own for a few solid months, away from my family, to live my life the way I want to live it.  But maybe I should stick with my school now.  The school I go to now is pretty easy.  After a lot of calculating, if I did my homework and occasionally studied for Bam’s history tests, then I would have no less than A’s.  The problem is, I don’t have the motivation to do my homework and never on my life would I want to study for Bam’s history tests because I can’t stand Bam.  My mother can’t either.  And if a mother who is super supportive of everyone hates your teacher, then that teacher is bad for sure.  If I were to stick to my school now then I could improve it, since it’s a really bad school, and thrill some colleges.  Maybe I’ll start a jazz band.  I hope that that is not another childish dream like Andover.

I know what college I want to go to also.  And getting into it wouldn’t be as big of a stretch as getting into Andover, because both my parents went there for grad school (Cornell University).  It may not be Harvard, but it’s still an excellent Ivy League school.  It’s also the college with the biggest campus in the nation.  It’s huge.  We went hiking there once and then went to some of the college towns within it.  There are some east-coast hippies there too.  And I swear that’s not an oxymoron.

I am glad there are so many problems with life.  They give us something to do and things to change.  It’s good to be challenged.

I wrote some haikus.  They’re kind of boring and meaningless, but you can read them if you like.

My chapped cheeks burn

As a silent tear

Stings my face

I sit on the small steps

To my house

They once seemed so big

I dig the blade into my wrist

And watch the red river

Flood into my palm

A tear falls

From her eye now still—

She is dead

Behind the face

Painted on in makeup

A girl cries

Stupid baby

I wish it would shut up

For I am far more hungry

I also read some haikus.  I found a couple of them that were hysterical.  I didn’t want to deprive you fuckers so I have included them too.  The first one is by Buson (1715-1783) and the second by Issa (1762-1826).

Nobly, the great priest

Deposits his daily stool

In bleak winter fields

Just beyond the gate,

A neat yellow hole—

Someone pissed in the snow

I drew a picture on Paint.  I felt no obligation to draw any dancing nudes, since my parents will not be seeing this picture.  Instead I drew an angry-looking girl with messy hair and a wound on her face.  I would’ve attached it here, except it’s too large.